Disney Park Style

Another warm weather trip to the happiest place on earth is coming soon, so it’s time to start brainstorming the perfect outfits to look cute, be comfy, and stay cool.

There is a bit of a challenge to put together a cute outfit when your shoes are ultra comfortable New Balance walking shoes and performance socks. Not to mention I have to keep up with my 6’5″ husband and his giant walking stride, so comfort is important, too!

Here’s what I’m thinking of taking along this time. After all, a woman has to look cute in those photos with Mickey and Minnie!

Disney Park Style
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The Hot Pink Suede Mary Jane Slip On Clogs

red and black softtsLike many women throughout the world I have a chronic addiction. I cannot tell you if it was genetic or acquired from friends, but I can tell you that there does not seem to be a cure, and if there is, I am not interested.

I am a shoe addict. For years it was dormant and harmless, and I wandered the world in a few pairs of mediocre styles. It was a sad time in my life as well as a plain period. And then after a major life change and a move to a new and more stylish part of the country, it was back, full force.

I cannot remember a lot of the things that I learned in high school or college. I would be hard pressed to translate a single word of Latin or do the college calculus that was an easy A back in the day. But I am pretty confident I could list all of the contents of my shoe closet without stepping foot inside.


My addiction takes many different forms and styles. There are the Havaianas, in silver with bling, two different florals and a pair in leopard. There are the metallic Bobs in gray, silver and leopard. Pink sequin Sperry topsiders, ten or so pairs of beautiful Born wedges, 2 pairs of Ugg wedges, pink and gray Ugg flip-flops, the 4 pairs of assorted Ugg Bailey button boots (black, gray, aqua and tan), the special edition Uggs with the lattice backs, the studded biker Uggs. There are Harley boots, over the knee black leather boots, knee-high boots in black, tan, gray. There are metallic flats in copper and black, studded flats, plaid flats, blue suede flats, giraffe flats, leopard flats. There are my classic black Jimmy Choos with the exorbitant price tag, justified while I was in Vegas (after many fruity martinis) that if I had brought $$$ for fun money and lost half, I might as well shop with the other half to have something to show.

leopard nine west

There are the leopard stilettos, the black and white pinstripe Mary Jane stilettos, the green plaid Steve Maddens, the gray and pink embroidered heels. There are the Sofft black and red leather Mary Janes. There are the LL Bean flip-flops depicting lobsters, black Labradors on a purple background, whales, polka dots, black Labradors on a red background.

There are exercise shoes as well as cute Sketchers and LL Bean casual sneakers for running around in jeans and a fleece to kids’ weekend games. There are snow boots in a variety of styles and even a pair of zebra print pedicure sandals with little spacers for the toes. Sporty Teva sandals, yellow patent leather open toe flats with an ankle strap.

All in all I usually average 100 pairs, all stacked in boxes and organized by overall style. Flats are together, heels, wedges, sneakers. Flip-flips share a large bin that can be pushed in the back after the snow falls.

black jimmy choo

And then there are the dog shoes. The dog shoes were never cute. Hot pink suede Mary Jane slip on clogs, they were a clearance add-on to an online order. They arrived and were bigger and more clunky than they appeared on the merchant’s website, but I stashed them in my closet and forgot about them for several months, going into the category of purchases I should have returned but did not. You know the kind; they usually are worn once and end up in the donation pile.

Then one day my other dog shoes fell apart and I went on a search in my closet for a replacement pair. Enter the hot pink suede Mary Jane slip on clogs into my daily life.

At first they seemed sort of cute. They were made well, were very comfy, and they were at least hot pink. That was several years ago.

Between the demands of three senior dogs and two puppies, the ugly pink shoes and I have been outside a lot. We go out in the same weather as the postal carrier, rain, sun, snow, no matter the weather at a minimum of ten times a day. My back yard is the only place I wear these shoes considering the fact that I myself view them as ugly. They stay by our back door waiting for puppy potty breaks or a trip for the mail, all with the purpose of saving my other beautiful shoes from scuffs, mud, dog paws. After all, leopard print stilettos are not suitable for playing Frisbee with a Labrador. Nor are bronze metallic flats. I have accidentally stepped in messy “situations” in my cute sneakers and had to hose them off to remove the mess; some were never the same afterwards.


Then there are the socks. I used to wander around the house, the yard, the driveway without socks or shoes. I lived in flip-flops or bare feet until a nail technician doing my pedicure told me that walking around barefoot is a major contributor to dried out feet and heels. Since I will only go to the nice salon for my pedis, at $50 a visit I am happy to wear socks, heels slathered with rich and creamy foot lotion, when I am at home so that I can show off pretty toes and feet when I am out in public. After all, my Labradors and my family do not care if I wander around the house in socks versus bare feet. The only time it is a fashion misstep is when you combine them with the ugly pink shoes.

So if you see me in my yard, big fuzzy socks and ugly pink suede Mary Jane clogs, go ahead and laugh. I laugh at myself all the time. I have nightmares about doing Stella & Dot trunk shows with that footwear, or going to the office where I used to work. I have actually had the shoes in hand and ready to throw them away multiple times this summer. They have lived a nice life in the house along with the beautiful shoes and have served me well. They have been with me through house-training puppies and picking my late senior dog up when she fell on some ice.

I am looking for replacements right now. They have to be easy to slip on at 6 on the morning and weather resistant. Time to start shopping the clearance links of my favorite shoe websites. Maybe I can get free shipping if I throw in another pair of cute shoes. If you twist my arm, that is.

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The Divorce Party

Last night I went out with several girlfriends. Seven women, cute outfits, makeup and hair done nicely, bar appropriate handbags in place and ready to hit the town without husbands or kids. The occasion for our Girl’s Night Out? Our friend’s divorce papers were finally signed and filed in the county courthouse, putting to bed a two-year ordeal that had cost her many tears and even more legal fees.

The term “divorce party” caused a few tilted heads. Why would we celebrate divorce? What is to celebrate about the splitting apart of a marriage that had produced four beautiful children? What is to celebrate about the pain and suffering of this family over the last two years?

Five of us in the group are happily married, two of us within the last five years. We were not happy to see our friend’s marriage come to an end; we were happy to see her survive the trauma, the fighting, and the all-encompassing stress that she had gone through in the last two years.

We were not celebrating divorce, we celebrated survival. Survival of the first year as a single mom, when every sick day and vacation day from her new job were used to stay home with sick children or to attend court, never for fun or relaxation or for herself to be sick. Survival of the heart-wrenching decline of her canine best friend and the inevitable final visit to the vet’s office, once again in the role of single mom to console her children and be there for her beloved dog. Survival into the world of doing everything on her own, relying on friends and family who also had their own lives to handle. We celebrated an emerging strength from her that was shaping her future and her fresh start.

Because it was a Saturday night in a popular downtown area we encountered at least five groups of Bachelorette parties, the bride in the obligatory tiara and pink sash, her posse of bridesmaids, friends and older family members following behind as they went from bar to bar. We were just leaving one place as one group came in. We congratulated the bride and offered our tables to them. “What do you recommend” asked the bride of our group. We recommended some frozen drinks and left. Once out of earshot one of our party joked, “What do we recommend? Don’t get married, run away!”

My husband and I just celebrated our fourth very happy year together. I love being married, although I realize the reason I love it is because I married the right man. I lived with someone for 11 years before I met my husband and people used to say “well, you guys are basically married”, but I can tell you that no, we were not. There really is a difference. Those vows make a difference. Standing up in front of friends and family makes a difference. Filing paperwork with the government makes a difference. I would have loved to have talked to the brides for a while to give them the lessons I’ve learned.

One day we will take our friend back out and celebrate something else. We will celebrate her engagement or marriage, or maybe just having a great date. Or maybe we will just celebrate that she has finally been able to use a vacation day for fun. She has not started dating again, but she will, and she will find someone worthy of the amazing woman that she is now, with the lessons learned from the last two years fully engrained in her personality. Because celebrating each other, not marriage, not divorce, but celebrating each other is what girlfriends do.

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August Wedding Guest

Sometimes events have a way of sneaking up on me. Up until a month ago there was never enough time in the world to get things done, so I was flying by the seat of my pants with every single thing in my life. As my friend’s August afternoon outdoor wedding approaches, I have two and a half months to pick a weather friendly outfit for the day…so I am starting now!
One of the best parts about being a stylist for Stella & Dot is all of the amazing jewelry that I have purchased as business supplies. Let’s face it, it’s the most awesome excuse to buy jewelry that I’ve ever heard!!!
I’m thinking this coral colored eyelet dress with the cap sleeves will be just right for an August afternoon. My husband will laugh when it comes from the UK, but Simply Be is hands down one of my favorite clothing companies. I should just go ahead and order this today…or wait until the middle of July…August Wedding Guest
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Stella & Dot Zabala statement necklace

Stella & Dot Zabala statement necklace

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Everyday Errands May 22, 2013

When I resigned from my full time corporate job a little over a month ago I promised myself I would not fall into the trap of forgetting about style. After all, dressing up and wearing my gorgeous  Stella & Dot pieces (that also act as trunk show samples for my business) was my second favorite part of that job…second to the friends at the office.  I’ve seen too many women lose their sparkle and polish and it makes me a little sad to see a day go by without a little bling…but perhaps that’s why I signed up to work as a Stella & Dot stylist!
Although my dress pants and dressier skirts have spent a much needed rest in the closet, I have been enjoying spending time with my more casual clothes…the ones that used to only come out on weekends and vacations. It sure makes a trip to Walmart or the local organic pet food store a lot more fun when you look cute!
Today’s selections: cobalt blue T, denim shorts and sparkly silver Sketcher’s Bobs. I am in love with Bobs for casual errands and running around town! So cute and comfy! From my Stella & Dot jewels, I carried my FAVORITE bag of all time, the metallic Ikat How Does She Do It bag, and added the Sanibel pendant, aqua and silver Serenity Stone Drops and the turquoise Odyssey ring. I finished the look with a small but fun arm party of the silver renegade bracelet and the navy Liberty friendship bracelet.
Shop ~ Host ~ Join me in my love of all things Stella & Dot at http://www.stelladot.com/lynnsmith
Everyday Errands May 22, 2013
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Let’s Do This!

It’s been a little over two weeks since I made the gigantic leap from the corporate world to pursue my dream of being my own boss. I am CEO, CFO, CIO, COO and sole proprietor of ME!

Looking over my older posts is suddenly odd, as if I am on the outside of my own self and looking in. After two weeks I am already different. I am more relaxed, I am happier, I have lost track of the day of the week, I have caught up on sleep. I have gone 10 days on one tank of gas and my Starbucks card is getting a much-needed rest!

In many ways I no longer recognize that desperate woman trapped in a cubicle and afraid to give up the income that it provided. I am no longer a miserable human on Sunday nights as I watch my only free time sadly fade away to be replaced by ten hours on the highway. I no longer dread the walk down the hallway to my desk in the cube farm, wondering how many more times I will make the walk before I run out of the building screaming and claiming my freedom!

However, I am quickly realizing that the holiday portion of my journey must come to an end. Although it feels like I have won the lottery of free time, it is time to get to work working on my dream of writing for a living!




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Ankle Deep

I am learning that in every success story there is a point where you ask yourself the inevitable question: am I crazy for even trying to take this plunge. Am I crazy for the dreams I have, the ideas that drive me, and the life I envision. Am I crazy for considering giving up a job that people would dream of because I am intellectually bored, mentally  underutilized and frustrated and because I am weary of working for someone else’s dream.

It is much easier to just show up to work, do the tasks that someone else has identified as your job description, and go back home. It is easier to let someone else bear the burden of growing the business, sorting out the short-term and long-term goals, worrying about the bottom line and the top line and plotting the strategy.

Easy is boring. But easy is safe.  But easy has never appealed to me. I’ve always been one to work hard for what I want, at least once I figure out what it is.

I have weighed these questions on a daily basis for the last year.  Sometimes I feel like I am closer to an answer and sometimes I feel like I am in exactly the same place.

I could move out of my desk in less than sixty seconds. Even the framed photographs on my desk are saved digitally on my laptop so I could  grab my purse and never look back. I have the start of a plan and a load of moral support, cheerleaders and  mentors and my own ambition.

I’ve spent the last year staring at the water, knowing I could swim, but afraid to leap in. This year I’ve gotten in up to my ankles. Pretty soon I’m going to dive in and swim like I know I can, with grace and skill and confidence. I just have to be able to pay for the pool.

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I Want the Best of Both Worlds

This afternoon I was washing a few loads of laundry when I pulled a long strip of paper out of my eleven year old stepdaughter’s pocket. In purple marker she had written “I want the best of both worlds” and then cut the strip out of the sheet of paper to make a wavy strip. The timing of this find was interesting because I was using the mindless task of laundry as a brainstorming session for a blog.

Yesterday morning was not my finest day of life with children. I was aware that hormones were surging and all I wanted to do was lay on my raft in the pool we installed this summer and read my book. Knowing how much the kids live in anticipation of a swim I made sure to let them know that I was going in the pool and that they were welcome to join me under the condition that the typical screaming, fighting, annoying each other with constant squeals of “noooooo” would result in extraction from the pool.

What I really wanted was the pool to myself. My husband was sleeping super late following a very hectic day at work and I really needed to float and feel the cool water and the blazing sun while I read my chick-lit. But as much as I wanted alone time, I could not bear to tell the kids that it was adult only time. After five years of being a parent I guess I still have a hard time balancing normal parenting adult time versus selfish behavior. After all, marrying a man with three kids meant that I was giving up my alone time in a pool. And I’d gladly take time with them over being alone. I can still remember the very lonely years living on my own between my previous relationship and meeting my husband.

Once in the pool I settled onto my raft and the kids did a great job of quietly splashing around, going after the dive sticks, swimming and exploring the pool liner with their masks and snorkels. And then their brother came into the pool. My thirteen year old stepson is a good kid, but he has no idea how to enjoy the pool without torturing his sisters. I watch him and wonder if this is how boys learn to flirt. When do they go from tossing their sisters into the pool to using a toss into icy water as a way to wrap their arms around a girl and make her squeal and giggle. Only sisters don’t squeal and giggle; sisters scream and fight back and yell “stooooooopppp” at the top of their lungs. Sisters strike back with the same force, so that my attention cannot be on my book; my attention is on the fact that they are jumping too close to the deck, pulling on the ladder, and any number of things we have said not to do time and time again.

Needless to say after a while I had to lay down the law. The pool fun came to a stop when I had to issue the edict that someone was leaving the pool the next time they bothered each other. There is a difference between playing and bothering; two of the kids at a time will play. When you add the third sibling, they bother. The two eldest went off to pout, leaving the youngest with me. She is the most easy-going so she and I split the pool in half and swam laps. It was a great way to burn off the anger of having my peaceful time not just interrupted, but utterly hijacked and ruined by making me feel like the bad guy.

Eventually one of the kids came back and they played nicely and normally while I resumed floating and reading. Later that day we went to a small impromptu pool party across the street at a friend’s house. I told my story about the morning in our own pool to a girlfriend and she could finish the scenario for me. “Let me guess, you wanted to lay on your raft and relax and they wanted to rough-house and scream?” YES!!! Exactly. As we talked I learned that this was a normal mom problem. It was not me being a selfish step-mom, it was just a normal part of being a parent, to want just a little relaxation time in with the crazy kid noise.

When I saw my daughter’s paper it really made me think. Was that what I wanted yesterday? The best of both worlds? Life with a family as well as relaxing quiet time?  I cannot speak for biological moms, but from step-moms have time with the kids and time without. We get our quiet time when the kids are with their biological mother, and we get the crazy, fun, hectic family time that I also love and cannot live without when they are with my husband and me. It really is the best of both worlds, just maybe not on the schedule that we would like.

I also can’t help but wonder what prompted her to write this. I could ask her to try to start a bonding conversation, but at eleven years old perhaps she won’t understand that I’m trying to understand her rather than reprimand her. She changed the words from the Hannah Montana song so was there more thought put into this than quoting a song? She lives in several different worlds…there is our house, her mother’s house, school, her social circle, even the world she shares with her siblings.

Finding things like that piece of paper bring me back to reality, that while they do not understand me fully or know everything about me, my life, or what I am thinking, I also do not understand them completely, or know their every thought and feeling.

I may never know what she meant. The slip of paper is on her dresser, saved from the laundry. Today I was home alone without any of the family other than the dogs. I successfully lounged in peace and quiet in the pool and finished my book. And now I have reached the time in my day when I have had plenty of time to myself and I am anxiously counting down until they all come home, bringing the noise and craziness with them. It truly is the best of both worlds, but the more time goes on, the more I am preferring the one with them in it.

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Balancing on the Work-Life Roller Coaster

Friday: Yaye, jeans day! Even as a professional adult with a fun wardrobe of business casual attire and a love of clothes other than jeans, it is still exciting to wear jeans to the office. Cute flats, nice top, skinny jeans, accessories, and out the door. Friday is a great day!!

Catch up on loose ends at work, lunch out with my office girlfriends at the Thai place that serves lunch in the little boats, and an easy afternoon. Love my job, love my co-workers, ready for the weekend!

Saturday: Husband is working, kids are with their mother.  I wake, play with the dogs, enjoy multiple cups of coffee in a quiet house. Read magazines, tidy up a little, play with dogs some more, pedicure, eyebrow wax, quick stop at Walgreens, and back home. Do laundry and then lose inspiration to put it away. Will do that Sunday. Text friends, spend time on Facebook, watch The Style Network and go to bed. Lazy, lazy day!

Sunday: Husband arrives home. After five years I am still elated to see him.I love him more than anything on this earth, along with our pup who is more a part of us than a separate entity.  I run to give him a huge hug, kiss, and then keep dogs quiet while he naps. The dogs are just as elated to see him as I am. Kongs keep them quiet for an hour and a half.

Shower, dress, head to brunch with husband. After brunch, we head to the home improvement store to purchase items for some yard improvements as well as a new screen door. Spend way too much on bricks, trees, and door.  I am excited to finally up our curb appeal except that the 6 trees we bought on a whim have removed the possibility of a motorcycle ride from our afternoon as he wants to get them in the ground asap.

Do more laundry while he plants trees. Fold laundry but will put away later that night along with the clothes from yesterday. Later that night we order pizza, watch The Hangover 2, snuggle sans kids, and play with our dogs. Don’t touch laundry. Who cares? We are in love, more so every day over the last five years.  I am happy. I am content. I am head over heels in love with the life that we have built. As much as I love the kids it is so special to get time just the two of us.

Monday: Morning coffee, dogs quietly chewing on new moose antlers. Shower, dress. Outfit sucks. Dress again. Second outfit sucks. Throw discarded tops on the bed. Husband still sleeping. Next outfit sucks. My wardrobe sucks.  I hate my job. I hate my clothes. I hate my shoes. I am sweaty and running late. I want to get back into bed and snuggle up to my big sturdy man.  Finally choose outfit. Oh wait, this one is good. Love fashion! Love shoes! Love being able to dress cute to go to work! I am riding a roller coaster of fashion every morning.

Manage to find focus and work on great project. Work is great. Love, love, love my job! Husband calls, going to take us to dinner with kids to celebrate end of school year. Yaye, love going out to dinner. Already wearing cute outfit so I’m ready to go!!

Traffic is backed up the entire length of the expressway on the way home. I hate this. How do I live like this? My job sucks, or at least the fact that it is 25 suburban miles from home sucks. Must be another way. I am miserable. I call my friend who is works as a writer/editor and does contract work and is entirely home based. I want that. I need that. Friend gives great links and advice. Can’t wait to get home and start looking into this. I need this NOW.

Arrive home, everyone is waiting to go to dinner. They are all sitting in family room watching TV. Dishes are in the sink, dishwasher still clean and full. Stuff is everywhere. Apparently these are my jobs? They’ve gotten my Jerseygirl up and ready to yell. No wonder the stepmoms in fairy tales were nasty bitches.  Don’t worry, I’ll do it after we go out to dinner  instead of looking at those links my friend mentioned. No problem. I am going for the martyr. I am not proud of it but I am too angry to care.

Dinner is fun. Nice to all be together, I am finally relaxed. Great conversation with the kids. Life is good. I love them! Who cares about the yucky mess in the sink at home or the laundry that I still have not put away. My family is amazing!!

Tuesday: Puppy wakes me up before my alarm. Sweet boy, I love his puppy kisses to get me out of bed. Wake kids up to go with their mother. This happens every third day. I let the dogs out, throw the ball a few times, feed them, fresh water. I love taking care of my furry babies. They round out our family and are “my” kids with my husband.

Go to work. Traffic is ok but each week I arrive at our weekly departmental meeting within seconds of being on-time. Go straight to meeting with purse and Starbucks cup in hand. Spend most of the day preparing my weekly spreadsheet. Ugh, this is the worst. I review essentially the same data week after week after week after week. Anything in Excel is torture for me. I procrastinate, looking at Yahoo, the cafeteria menu, Facebook, Gmail, read my  work related Google alerts. There has to be someone who can do this awful mindless task other than me! I am in the wrong job when it comes to this. I stare at the screen thinking about my friend’s advice. I am a writer, not a spreadsheeter. I have so many other things to do and I am stuck on this one heinous task. I put in headphones, stream Disney Park Hopper radio, and finally push through the task.

Rush home from work, feed dogs. I am on my own tonight but Jax and I have doggie class. After a full day in their crates they are nuts even though the pet sitter has come for a half hour in the middle of the day. Spend half hour letting them get their energy out, feed them, and then get the puppy ready for school. Harness, treats, water bottle, purse. I need a special doggie travel bag. He is working on his B.A. for the Canine Life and Social Skills program.

Class is interesting. I’ve learned so much from our dog obedience school. Jax enters the room like a frat boy entering a party with a case of beer. He tries to drag me to the two yellow lab pups in the room. He loves yellow labs and Golden Retrievers. I wonder if it’s because his mother is yellow. Ten minutes later I have his attention and he is ready to learn. He is a brilliant boy!

Wednesday: Normal morning routine. Husband arrives home from work while I am in battle with closet. I am standing in my closet in undergarments and a skirt. Choose top, look in mirror. Oh, hell no! Pull off top, throw onto bed. Choose another top. Ugh, NO! Repeat process. I have nothing to wear!!! Amused husband peers around corner of closet.  My side is bursting at the seams and I had to recently purchase more hangers. Everything is arranged by color according to the J.C. Penney color chart that I learned back in college when I worked part-time for them. “Really??” he asks, teasing me. I love him!!! Finally choose boring plain top and lame necklace. At least I am dressed. I have sweat on my upper lip and I’m 10 minutes late. But I have clothes on my body.

Arrive home after work, husband and stepson have spent the day cleaning out last year’s mulch and building our new garden wall. He is an amazing man and such a hard worker!!! God, I love him!!! The wall looks great, trees are watered. He works so hard to make our home more beautiful. Inside I find that thekitchen sink is empty and the dishwasher ready for the dirty dishes of dinner. My oldest stepdaughter is reading on the sofa. She is the one who emptied and refilled it and I am so grateful for such a small thing!

Thursday: Today is a tremendous day! After several summers in a row of talking ourselves out of it we are finally having a swimming pool installed!!! I don’t know if it is because I am a Pisces or because I grew up on a lake and come from water-loving parents, but I love the water. I love laying in a raft and reading a book. I love swimming and feeling my muscles move me through the water. I love practicing the different strokes.I love swimming up into my husband’s arms and knowing that I don’t weigh much in the water.  I love simply gliding through the water and feeling the smooth freshness passing over my skin.

In addition to pool installation day it is also my weekly day to work from home. I wake at my normal time, make coffee, play with puppies, and sit down to watch the news for an hour. I shower, do a leave-in conditioner and slather myself with anti-aging products sans makeup. Skip drying my hair and toss on shorts and a tank top. I am more ready to work on Thursdays than any other day of the week!!

Around noon the doorbell rings. The pool installers are here!!!!! My husband goes to talk to them and will ultimately spend the rest of the afternoon supervising their work from a subtle distance. He is beyond-handy and could build us a house from the bottom up, but for something like this he is leaving the installation to the experts.

I spend the afternoon working on our departmental newsletter that I have recently revamped and rebranded. It is the part of my job I love and wish I could do full-time, particularly from the comfort of my dining room/office. Every now and then I glance out at the pool going up. First the leveling of the ground, then the outside walls, sand, liner, pump and filter, and final touches. I leave my computer. WE HAVE A POOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I run into the living room where the kids are hanging out. I jump up and down yelling WE HAVE A POOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They look at me like I’ve lost my mind and giggle along with me. “Do we have a pool?” my thirteen year old stepson asks. I love it that they are getting our sense of humor.

I run outside to survey the pool. My husband already has both garden hoses spilling fresh clear water into the beautiful blue lining. I want to jump in but the water is only an inch deep. The other day I laid down in the puppy pool while my neighbors floated on their rafts on a 95 degree day. I am happy to be in the swimming pool club.

Friday: Another jeans day. The pool is 3/4 of the way full. Today is payday!! Payday = swimming pools! I love my job on payday. Love it when I get to write. Love it when I get to work from home. Hate it when I am on the highway 10 hours a week. I’ve done the math and that commute equals twenty days of my life. Twenty days. Over eight years puts it at 160 days, or nearly half a year just sitting in the car racing down the highway. In ten more years that year in the car will be a reality. Imagine spending a year continually in your car driving down the road. The idea is preposterous.

This is my struggle. Payday is necessary and it often brings perks like swimming pools or a wardrobe of unsuitable clothes. It also brings security and the things we need to live. And so I am mentally back to my constant struggle. At what point does paying for your life interrupt your life. At what point does working to live become living to work. I do not have the answers but I think I am getting closer. In the meantime I am going to jump into my pool.

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